the start of his life

Where to begin and where to start our story It technically goes back to August 18th – I woke up in severe back pain and thought it was due to the fact that close friends were getting married that day and we were out until about 1 am helping them set up their gorgeous outdoor wedding. I didn’t think to much of it and it got worse as the day went on but I was spending a lot of time on my feet as it was the day of the wedding and we stayed out until about 230 am- the pain was fairly moderate but again I just thought I was pregnant That Sunday aug 19 we simply stayed home and I DID NOTHING to help the pain get better. The next morning I woke up and it was even worse, I said to Dh that he had to take me to the hospital but I was heistant as I thought they were just going to say that I was pregnant- we went to our local hospital 45 mins away and I got set up on the non stress test dr came in and said oh that pain is contractions and showed me on the strip then she checked me and I was 2 cm dialated She got me to go to a specialized hospital 2 hrs from home that has a nicu and great OB section, got there and was 3 cm dialated- on a side note I was also HUGE in the past 2 wks I got gigantic (30 wks preggo though thought it was a normal growth spurt of babe) I stayed in hospital and by weds was 4 cm, they did a ultrasound and found babe to be quite large and me to be retaining amniotic fluid- I had a AFI of 39 and 25 is considered very high :s After the ultrasound they also thought that baby had polyhydrops (fluiod inside of him) so they sent me to Mount Sinai hospital in Toronto about 4 hrs from home via ambulance Got there and they did a hour long ultrasound and found me to have polyhydraminos – the extra fluid- babe to have an engrossed abdomen and put me on bedrest as I was still 4 cm dialated but wasn’t in active labor. (this was Thursday) The wknd passed with nothing much to note of, a bit of mucasy blood but they didn’t see concered. Tuesday evening was the last time I felt Babe move inside of me= I made sure to tell the drs and the nurses EVERY SINGLE TIME they came to check on me. They did a ultrasound on the amotic fluid and it hadn’t increased, put me on a NST on Thursday and seen that babes heart beat was a straight line for about 30 mins, they said he must be napping, I made note that this had NEVER happendede before, and I couldn’t get his heart rate to accelerate with movement cold drinks and sweets- they had also just determined I had gestational diabetes but passed the routine test only 2 wks before so was on insulin for this, I noted my concern and they already had the transfer ambulance there and ready to take me back to hospital number 1 that we came from. I got to the first hospital again and they hooked me up the the nst- his heart was still doing the same and they said oh maybe hes napping, I told them it was like that this am as well and I hadn’t felt him move since tuesdasy night (its Thursday now) the nurse was shocked, called the dr who said to leave me on the nst for a few hours and see what happens (As I wasn’t contracting and wasn’t dialted more) the nst was the same the WHOLE time, his heart was at 155-157 and apparently thye want to see at least 3 accelerations or decelarations in 20 mins- I wasn’t showing this Friday aug 31 I woke up with INSANE pain on one side of my tummy (left side) not contraction pain just insane pain. Dr sent me for a stat ultrasound and the tech wouldn’t tell me much- all she said was `you may met this babe sooner than you think`` I was 32 weeks and 3 days along- I get back to my room with my husband and the dr and my nurse rush in and say that his cord had stopped working and was pushing fluid out instead of taking it in- her exact words were``this is the last thing we see before infant mortality we need to get this baby out there now`` So she rounded everyone up and at 230 I was getting my epidural and all set up, babe was born and 308pm and weighed in at 7lbs 8 oz- which we thought was great, but was actually not will explain further down When he was born it was the scariest sight ever and I still get flashbacks of the scene They took him out of me and brought him to a table directly to our right, there were 3 drs and 1 nurse, one doctor had the stethoscope on his heart and just kept shaking her head no as she was looking at him- the other 3 drs were slapping him poking him and trying hard- he made the SMALLEST wimper ever they held him up and said HI mom and then him and hubby and drs were rushed out to the nicu I was in recovery for a few hours, thinking all was well I got back to my room and they couldn’t wheel him into me as he was on oxygen and getting lots of treatments done- I knew that I had to get moving to go in and see my precious gift., I got up and moving at 10pm that evening, went into the nicu and seen a very scary sight, my baby on oxygen at 80-90% lots of iv lines, and the dr doing a central iv FOR THE FIRST TIME EVeR HE WAS SWEeting and calling the sick kids hospital for advice on how to do it- they had to cut the whole umbilical cord off of him to put the line in and he wouldn’t stop bleeding. A few hours later they told us he would be going to sick kids hospital to their nicu and they were on their way via ground- he couldn’t be flown due to the pressures when your in the air. The transfer team was there at 330 am (I hadn’t slept since 5 am on the Friday at this point) and started to get him into the isolate, they got him ready to go by 430 am explained where they were taking him gave us a number directions and a `password` so we could call in for updates until I was discharged. They called my cell at 530 am to say there were there and he was getting seen by drs. They called back at 830 and asked my permission to give a blood transfusion as he had lost so much blood as they were trying for the central line- of course I said do what needs to be done At this point all we knew was he had issues breathing and maybe getting some nitrous oxide in his lungs to open them up and help him along- I was discharged Sunday am 30 hrs after surgery and we made the treck to Toronto sick kids hospital Walking into the best nicu in Canada is INTENSE, so many emotions and I just wanted to see and hold my baby, we got there and he was on a high frequency oxygen machine that was giving him his breathes as he couldn’t do so on his own and was getting 80-90 oxygen and we found out when he got there he was on 100% oxygen- I felt so useless, helpless scared and like my body had failed him- My baby still hadn’t ate and I hated that as well Days went onb in the nicu and we found oout he had many things Brain damage due to lack of oxygen Was on the ventilator to breathe for 3 weeks Got pneumonia from puking on his back Got a central line infection as they left that belly button line in to long He was sedated on midazalom, fentanyl and chloral hydrate He swelled up so hiuge we could barley tell it was him He began tube feeds on sept 16 I finally held him on sept 6 but I t was so bittersweet, amazing to cuddle him but scary with all the tubes they had to tape to me and then to the chair to ensure nothing pulled out and I had to stay that way for 3 hrs if I wanted to hold since I just had the emergency c section it was painful We sat with him every single day, we sang to him, cried for him, and cried with eachother- we didn’t hear him cry at all until about sept 23rd He got blood taken every 2 hrs and his poor feet were destroyed from the prick marks it killed us to see him suffering so much We spent 5.5 wks at sick kids nicu and then 2 weeks at hospital number 1 nicu and now we are home as of October 19- 9 long weeks away from home If I missed anything or you have any questions please ask, ill keep updating about his conditions etc as time passes and I continue to mentally heal Much love M