Not being... Quite... where we wanted to be by this time
And im dealing with that right now...
I have to remind myself that just because we can not get on a tropical holiday vacation, that we do have eachother, and have a wedding we need to save for.
I wanted to be a stay at home wife, but i need to realize that this day and age that ISNT easy...
I thought we would own a house by now, or shall i say I thought I would own a house by now, and thats not the case, we are looking at like 5 more years before that is possible...
i wanted kids by 25, which cant say didnt happen because i still have 9 months as 25
I didnt think we would be into our 3rd year TTC thats for sure
I wanted to go on at least a vacation a year... i havent gone anywhere but camping in years and this has to change...
Or does it?
Do i not look in the right places for options?
Do i not try hard enough?
How do i try harder?
Is this all because of my current job... can one thing have that much impact on everything else...
no one knows these inner feelings i have, and i know i should let them out,
but how to tell your SO with out them feeling as though they are a "let down"
I have gotten the
'i wish i could give you a vacation'
and i dont want to make him feel guilty
this is me...
maybe its because i am lacking me
i feel when i was single i had more Me and i didnt let it go
now we spend all our time together, which is great, bu ti miss a lot of things ppl and places...
and dont know what to do.
I went through what you are feeling about basically missing...well just being yourself...I took a trip alone up north for a couple days and actually just things that meant a lot to me.
ReplyDeleteI actually went to try and find some of my family history and it was nice to have time to focus on myself and not worry about anyone else's timing. Take a day alone, find some beautiful small town and venture around it for a couple days. It made a HUGE difference in how I was feeling and came back quite refreshed and ready to focus on "us." I hope you find clarity as those moments of "I should have been....by now" are tough to deal with.
Hi
ReplyDeleteİ just wanted to say a few words. İ am 25 also, my husband and i are ttc our first child as well. İ miscarried last december when i was 6 weeks along. İt still hurts. 6 weeks of misery for 2 weeks of utter bliss. Both me and my hubby have had surgeries about problems in our reproductive systems before we even met. İ have always wanted to be a mom. its soo hard to see people getting pregnant in the blink of an eye. Lots of people have their beautiful babies in their arms 8 months after a positive hpt- not me. İt seems so unfair to not reach where you were supposed to be but i trust with all my heart to our creator. When he takes something from us he gives something else in return. İ believe both you and i Will have our rewards of patience and i pray with all my heart for it to be soon.
Lots of love from İstanbul :)