Gotta stay out of a funk :S

I hate when I get into a “near funk” Its been quite sometime since I was in a full out funk- trust me I struggle with this every day… Long story short- I miss my Dads. Both my bio dad and my “step dad” My step dad and I were best of friends- then him and my mom got a divorce- we lived with him (we being me and my awesome “baby” brother he is 6 yrs younger than I) Then he got with this gal- who sat me down one night and said “Your Dad has to chose you or me and Im not going anywhere” their reasoning for this was b/c I “was not his child” and someone needed to “take responsibility for me” - I was 15 and he had been my Dad for 15 years I miss him so much its crazy- its just never been the same- I can never see JUST HIM, the slut always needs to be around She has made me feel so uncomfortable and unwanted its insane They are both invited and coming to our wedding in July – however I have chosen to have my Baby Bro walk me down the aisle And as happy as I am about that choice- I see videos on Face/book of Dad and Daughter dances and it breaks me in half- our song was Twinkle Twinkle Lil Star – we danced to that at him and my moms wedding- and I guess I always invosioned us doing the same at mine- I know he would do it if I asked him to- but I cant manage to get the words out let alone have a visit We haven’t seen eachother since his wedding on 7-7-07 (so almost 5 yrs ago :S) and I text him to tell him im preggo andhe was happy but fuck I miss him way to much :S