Emotional... to say the least

So today I am 20 weeks and 1 day pregnant... I *wish* that I was as bit smaller when we got pregnant- then i would look moreso pregoo- and not just weight gain I guess I am also super sad that I havent felt ANY kind of distinctive movements yet And that SuCKS We have a closer friend who is one week ahead of us- and she has felt movement for weeks and weeks and even other ppl can feel them from the outside I have NEVER been down on myself for my size or weight- I was always healthy and happy And that is what counted Now I find myself getting "down on myself" I have gained weight (nothing excess) and wish it was more preggo looking On another note I guess IM lucky since I am offically getting married in 43 days and my dress(bought and paid for LAST june) still fits ok- i guess maybe this is where the stress is stemming from? They are stressing as it is "pulling" at the back- SERIOUSLY I am OVER thinking and knowing that it will look as "perfect" as it did last June or even in January when I wasnt pregnant- i am 5 months pregnant and know its not going to be the same- it still looks amazing from the front I go again this Saturday after they have "let it out as much as they can" and see what will be done- last wknd when i tried it on my GF came and said she wasnt worried and that it looked fine!!!! she even said we could make it fit in 7 more weeks (when the wedding is) grrr just so effin frusturating :S